YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
