happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize