Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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