Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize