so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
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They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
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He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.