There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia