Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm so fucking centered right now
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.