There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.