But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.