Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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