So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
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She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
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That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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