What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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