I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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