She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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