I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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