Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
