Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
