Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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