found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
