Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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