I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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