I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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