We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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