She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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