I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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