I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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