you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
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So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
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Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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