A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
