i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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