I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.