nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.