Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.