I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize