i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling