I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
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My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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