his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone