Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.