I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.