Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize