If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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