i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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