just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize