You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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