I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
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I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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