We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go