we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time