Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
