How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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