i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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