there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Life is so much better after having sex.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
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Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.