Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
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Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
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From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.