someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize