I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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