Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize