Can i not drive my cunt home
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize