guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
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puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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