She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
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