Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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