I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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