Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
