And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
