Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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